The Unfillable Glass

Every now and then I look again at what I want. It isn't too frequent, often it comes when my body is tired but my mind is not and I scroll through everything I have and everything I want, see what matches, find the gaps or illogicalities and see if there is a way around them.
Oftentimes I find that my life is more or less on point to how I feel it should be though strangely what I think it should be changed so often that I am bewildered how I so unconsciously keep up with myself.
But now a new, discouraging realization has brought itself before me and what is seen cannot be unseen in this case. I know sometimes that what I want is to be "one of the good guys", one of the people who fall in love and are fallen in love with. This is see as true forever in my mind so long as I think about it. But I know that if I achieve nothing but that in my life I will be plagued by regret. And so I strive for more, to be known to contribute something to people's lives, those I don't know, in a way which will exist long after I do. This is possible I think, but simultaneously I see that it is impossible to satisfy everyone for we are not all of the same nature and disposition, and short of having a personal impact on each and every person I effect I doubt I will ever be able to convince everyone of the same thing.
They say a "boo" is louder than a cheer and this is sad to think but also true. I hope never to acquire any "boo"s but I fear this is impossible, for if nobody else does, I myself will.

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